STEELERS WIN SUPERBOWL XL

February 6th, 2006 9:00 AM ET

Aretha kicked it off (thankfully, with no wardrobe malfunctions), and the Bus said his run stops with a title in his hometown. In between, we saw Jessica Simpson making us wonder what Nick Lachey possibly could have been thinking, Sprint dust off the Benny Hill theme (not to mention the old bald guy), and Ameriquest claim the unofficial title for best commercials… and, oh yeah, the Steelers win a fifth Super Bowl title with a 21-10 victory over the Seahawks.

The game wasn't exactly the most riveting affair in Super Bowl history, but momentum swung like a pendulum on key plays—generally involving inopportune penalties by the Seahawks or poorly thrown interceptions near the goal line. When the dust had settled, Hines Ward had an MVP and Jerome Bettis had a trophy.

Steelers 21, Seahawks 10
Summary: Playing well below the Vegas number should have been expected in a game featuring a pair of stout defenses. Ultimately, it was a pair of big plays by the Steelers—a record-breaking run by Willie Parker and a flea-flicker pass from Antwaan Randle El to Ward—that proved the difference in Super Bowl XL.

Fantasy MVP: Okay, we'll side with the official voters; while our MVP award carries with it neither a shiny new Escalade or a trip to Disney World, those who carried Hines Ward on their playoff fantasy roster had to enjoy the 123 yards and touchdown grab.

Other studs: For a team that just won a Super Bowl, the Steelers hardly filled up a fantasy box score Sunday. Willie Parker posted a nice-looking line of 93 yards and a touchdown, but the vast majority of those digits came on his one long—albeit game-breaking—play. Seattle, meanwhile, got a record-tying five first-quarter catches from Darrell Jackson, but he did nothing the rest of the game and had a touchdown wiped out by an offensive interference penalty. Shaun Alexander carried 20 times for 95 yards but didn't find the end zone. Jerramy Stevens scored the Seahawks' lone touchdown, but had at least as many drops as he had catches (three). And Joe Jurevicius paced Seattle receivers with 95 yards on five catches, proving he's a big-game player. As you might surmise, that led to a healthy stat line for Matt Hasselbeck, who completed 26 of 49 passes for 273 yards and a touchdown—but, as there was always a caveat for the Seahawks on Super Bowl Sunday, with one costly pick.

Commercial MVP: Next time we refi, we're going with Ameriquest Mortgage. Don't judge too quickly; if you didn't get the doctor zapping flies with the defibrillator or the woman straddling the sleeping airline passenger, maybe a second viewing will help you out.

Other commercial studs: Here's to Michelob Amber Light, which had the audacity to have the dude wipe out the chick while playing "touch" football. She was open, and then she was closed. The Sprint ad with the burning couch and nod to Benny Hill (including theme song, busty chick, and old bald guy) may have been lost on the younger generation but made those who grew up on the British comedy bust a gut. And Career Builder proved you can't go wrong with monkeys.

Musical MVP: Stevie Wonder. And it wasn't even close.

Fantasy LVP: Just as there were no truly dominant statistical performances, neither was there a real dog in Sunday's game. However, missing a pair of field goals—even though both were from 50 yards out—puts the goat horns on Josh Brown. Sorry, dude, gotta have those when the game's on the line.

Other duds: As good as Ben Roethlisberger looked during the AFC playoffs, you would have sworn it was Tommy Maddox playing quarterback on Sunday for the Steelers. Antwaan Randle El had more touchdown tosses than Big Ben, who finished just nine of 21 for 123 yards. He would have pried the LVP award from Josh Brown were it not for his touchdown run—something Seahawk fans may not yet be willing to concede truly happened. And while the ending was nice for Jerome Bettis, he was denied a Super Bowl touchdown twice inside the two-yard line and finished with 43 yards on 14 carries. Doesn't matter when you're clutching the Lombardi Trophy, though.

Commercial LVP: Just when you thought Chris Berman had jumped the shark, the couch, and whatever shred of dignity he had left, he turns up doing play-by-play for The Shaggy Dog promo. There's an entire generation that probably doesn't believe he used to be a pretty good sportscaster; we're starting to doubt it ourselves.

Other duds: We're not sure whether to boo the network censors or GoDaddy.com. It's like they gave up after 13-14 attempts were shot down. And if Emerald Nuts is going to throw 10 percent of its annual ad budget at a 30-second spot on the Super Bowl, it needs to hire an agency that doesn't require LSD usage.

Musical LVP: While it's tough to sink lower than the Kidney… er, Rolling Stones going through the motions at halftime, the bar had been set during the anthem when Aaron Neville tried in vain to match pipes with the Queen of Soul during the National Anthem.

Up Next: You still have one last chance to hug your pizza guy, because next weekend the NFL's top performers are getting leid at the Pro Bowl. We'll take 800 of the Cheesy Bites pies to go, please. And can Jessica Simpson bring 'em over? Aloha!

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