Articles From Bodogfantasy.com
February 6th, 2006 9:00
Aretha kicked it off (thankfully,
with no wardrobe malfunctions), and the Bus
said his run stops with a title in his hometown.
In between, we saw Jessica Simpson making us
wonder what Nick Lachey possibly could have
been thinking, Sprint dust off the Benny Hill
theme (not to mention the old bald guy), and
Ameriquest claim the unofficial title for best
commercials… and, oh yeah, the Steelers
win a fifth Super Bowl title with a 21-10 victory
over the Seahawks.
The game wasn't exactly the most
riveting affair in Super Bowl history, but momentum
swung like a pendulum on key plays—generally
involving inopportune penalties by the Seahawks
or poorly thrown interceptions near the goal
line. When the dust had settled, Hines Ward
had an MVP and Jerome Bettis had a trophy.
21, Seahawks 10
Summary: Playing well below the Vegas number
should have been expected in a game featuring
a pair of stout defenses. Ultimately, it was
a pair of big plays by the Steelers—a
record-breaking run by Willie Parker and a flea-flicker
pass from Antwaan Randle El to Ward—that
proved the difference in Super Bowl XL.
MVP: Okay, we'll side with the official
voters; while our MVP award carries with it
neither a shiny new Escalade or a trip to Disney
World, those who carried Hines Ward on their
playoff fantasy roster had to enjoy the 123
yards and touchdown grab.
studs: For a team that just won a Super
Bowl, the Steelers hardly filled up a fantasy
box score Sunday. Willie Parker posted a nice-looking
line of 93 yards and a touchdown, but the vast
majority of those digits came on his one long—albeit
game-breaking—play. Seattle, meanwhile,
got a record-tying five first-quarter catches
from Darrell Jackson, but he did nothing the
rest of the game and had a touchdown wiped out
by an offensive interference penalty. Shaun
Alexander carried 20 times for 95 yards but
didn't find the end zone. Jerramy Stevens scored
the Seahawks' lone touchdown, but had at least
as many drops as he had catches (three). And
Joe Jurevicius paced Seattle receivers with
95 yards on five catches, proving he's a big-game
player. As you might surmise, that led to a
healthy stat line for Matt Hasselbeck, who completed
26 of 49 passes for 273 yards and a touchdown—but,
as there was always a caveat for the Seahawks
on Super Bowl Sunday, with one costly pick.
MVP: Next time we refi, we're going with
Ameriquest Mortgage. Don't judge too quickly;
if you didn't get the doctor zapping flies with
the defibrillator or the woman straddling the
sleeping airline passenger, maybe a second viewing
will help you out.
commercial studs: Here's to Michelob
Amber Light, which had the audacity to have
the dude wipe out the chick while playing "touch"
football. She was open, and then she was closed.
The Sprint ad with the burning couch and nod
to Benny Hill (including theme song, busty chick,
and old bald guy) may have been lost on the
younger generation but made those who grew up
on the British comedy bust a gut. And Career
Builder proved you can't go wrong with monkeys.
MVP: Stevie Wonder. And it wasn't even
LVP: Just as there were no truly dominant
statistical performances, neither was there
a real dog in Sunday's game. However, missing
a pair of field goals—even though both
were from 50 yards out—puts the goat horns
on Josh Brown. Sorry, dude, gotta have those
when the game's on the line.
duds: As good as Ben Roethlisberger looked
during the AFC playoffs, you would have sworn
it was Tommy Maddox playing quarterback on Sunday
for the Steelers. Antwaan Randle El had more
touchdown tosses than Big Ben, who finished
just nine of 21 for 123 yards. He would have
pried the LVP award from Josh Brown were it
not for his touchdown run—something Seahawk
fans may not yet be willing to concede truly
happened. And while the ending was nice for
Jerome Bettis, he was denied a Super Bowl touchdown
twice inside the two-yard line and finished
with 43 yards on 14 carries. Doesn't matter
when you're clutching the Lombardi Trophy, though.
LVP: Just when you thought Chris Berman
had jumped the shark, the couch, and whatever
shred of dignity he had left, he turns up doing
play-by-play for The Shaggy Dog promo. There's
an entire generation that probably doesn't believe
he used to be a pretty good sportscaster; we're
starting to doubt it ourselves.
duds: We're not sure whether to boo the
network censors or GoDaddy.com. It's like they
gave up after 13-14 attempts were shot down.
And if Emerald Nuts is going to throw 10 percent
of its annual ad budget at a 30-second spot
on the Super Bowl, it needs to hire an agency
that doesn't require LSD usage.
LVP: While it's tough to sink lower than
the Kidney… er, Rolling Stones going through
the motions at halftime, the bar had been set
during the anthem when Aaron Neville tried in
vain to match pipes with the Queen of Soul during
the National Anthem.
You still have one last chance to hug your pizza
guy, because next weekend the NFL's top performers
are getting leid at the Pro Bowl. We'll take
800 of the Cheesy Bites pies to go, please.
And can Jessica Simpson bring 'em over? Aloha!
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